aphantasia
Jun. 14th, 2025 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Now, though, I'm wondering which of several things is true:
1. Am I weirdly suddenly able to access a tiny amount of picturing things, out of nowhere?
Or
2. Is the dreamy confusion of waking up making me *feel* like I'm picturing things but not *actually* picturing things? It lasts so briefly that I actually can't be sure!
Or
3. Have I always genuinely able to picture things in my sleep, but not awake, but because I only conscsiously experience dreams through the medium of remembering them, I've never been able to tell that - and a change in recent sleeping habits means I have been holding on to a snatch of a dream just long enough to get the sense of it with my waking mind?
Or something else????
Anyway these brief snatches of mind-pictures have been a baffling thing to experience, as something I've never previously been able to do in my life ever, and all of a sudden I'm a little more of a true believer that other people DO do this thing all the time!
It always seemed so fake to me before. So made up. How could a person PICTURE things?! That's just a metaphor, surely! We're using words about images to describe the experience of thinking about a thing, because the actual experience of thinking is so unlike anything in the physical world that there are no words to describe it! Right? Right????
I guess for lots of people, they literally are creating pictures in their head with their brains, all the time.
WILD.
Now I really wish I had a better way to explain what my experience of thinking is like, tbh. Because all I have is metaphor, to translate it into words! But those metaphors are apparently concrete factual experiences to other people, so I won't be successfully communicating!
This is similar to my experience with words, btw. I *can* think in words, more than I can with pictures, but that's me deliberately creating the words and sentences. I'm translating my thoughts into words with conscious effort.
My thoughts aren't words. My thoughts aren't pictures. My thoughts are thoughts!
How are so many people's thoughts NOT just thoughts!
Fanvids: Hikaru no Go, Justice in the Dark
Jun. 14th, 2025 09:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Hikaru no Go: "Brightest Star in the Sky" (gen, ensemble cast)
Description: An ensemble-cast video of the characters and the various journeys they take to get where they need to be. (Hug compilation at the end :P)
Notes: Some flashing transitions. There's also a vertical version here.
Also on: AO3
-
Justice in the Dark: "Sinner" (Luo Weizhao/Pei Su)
Description: Short (30-second) video about physical touch and UST, from Luo Weizhao's PoV.
Notes: Clips sourced from eps 1–21.
Also on: AO3
-
Justice in the Dark: "Borrowing" (Luo Weizhao/Pei Su)
Description: Luo Weizhao borrows bits and pieces of everything to protect Pei Su: the length of a river to carry him to shore, a patch of Paradise to keep him warm.
Notes: Flashing lights at around 1:00; Clips are from eps 1–27, with major spoilers for up to ep 16. Also I spent a lot of time on the lyric translation :')
Also on: AO3 / tumblr
-
BONUS: Also subbed the new(!!!) updates for the Mo Du / Silent Reading audio drama:
Weekly Chat
Jun. 14th, 2025 02:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Whatever it is, talk to us about it here. Tell us what you liked or didn't like, and if you want to talk about spoilery things, please hide them under either of these codes:
or
May the Schwartz be with you!
Jun. 14th, 2025 04:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
++ A trailer for Zhu Yilong's new movie, Dongji Rescue, dropped the other day. I wasn't even aware that he had something new coming out, so I was caught be surprise, and just seeing the images before watching the trailer I was like, whoa, and then after watching the trailer I got further intrigued. It looks action-packed and intense. Zhu Yilong has been quite busy, and I'm happy for him.
++ It's been officially announced that, after thirty-eight years, Spaceballs is getting a sequel.
I have to admit, when I first heard about this my immediate response was to go, "ugh, why?", because I think we can all agree we're tired of the constant sequels/prequel/franchising of IPs, and sequels from something after so long, while a good idea in theory, doesn't always deliver what was promised. But then I watched the announcement trailer, done in the only way Spaceballs should do announcements, and I could feel that apprehension draining away. It's still there of course, but I am curious to see what they do with it. Besides, we need more smart and clever parody movies that are genuinely funny. Spaceballs was always in on the joke and being quite meta and breaking that fourth wall (ex: Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money already a joke made in the first movie, now becoming a reality), so I want to see what they'll bring this time. And seeing as how Mel Brooks is getting as much of the original cast as they can to be onboard with this, it's going to be very interesting.
2025 K-Pop Ficmix Sign-Ups Open!
Jun. 13th, 2025 01:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Congrats to Infinite on their 15th debut anniversary, and to K-Pop Ficmix, too! We're an all-fandom fest, looking forward to having our OG pals (and also new friends!) joining us for this milestone round🥰 Please feel free to share this and all our posts with any friends or communities (Dreamwidth or otherwise) you think may be interested--the more participants we have, the easier it is to match those with similar preferences!
More information about our fest is available on our carrd, and please check out our Remix Rewind series for ideas and inspiration.
You can sign up as a participant here or as a pinch-hitter here. We can't wait to see you all there!
Drama watching
Jun. 13th, 2025 08:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I’m not dropping it after all. I really enjoyed the 4th episode. Even Padtaphi didn’t annoy me this week. And I’m already in love with the secondary GL pairing.
The Bangkok Boy
Ok, the drama gets its own tag, because I love it and I’m so invested. Episode 7 was great. But wow, that show is dark. Very dark. And it makes me anxious. Because I can’t say to myself that it’s just a Thai BL drama and no one I love will die. Because someone for sure will.
But yes, this is definitely a brutal gangster drama first. BL part is a distant second. I like it that way, but I saw quite a few fans disappointed about the BL part being in the background like that, and the main plot being all about gangsters fighting each other. Truly speaking I am a bit surprised that TPTB even marketed it as a BL drama.
Content warning.
When Sun was in prison for a murder he didn’t commit, Sun’s younger sister Mei was sold out to Sun’s enemies. She was forced to take drugs, and raped repeatedly for three years before Sun rescued her after coming out of prison. It wasn’t shown explicitly, but we see the aftermath, and what it did to Mei.More with spoilers here.
I was hoping that they wouldn't go there with Mei. But they did, in a really dark way. But she is getting help now, and it seems she is slowly getting better. And she has her burgeoning friendship with Peace. And maybe a future GL romance with a kind and cute paramedic.And I enjoy Aim as an unhinged villain, and the actor gives great crazy eyes. And I kinda ship him with Madam Yao. Yes, I have a het ship in a BL drama, it happens sometimes. 😊 But look at this gifset I found on tumblr. And he’s like a brutal, crazy dog only she has a leash for. It does things for me. But Aim needs to pay for what he did to Mei, so I fully expect him to die before the end. And I will cheer when he does.
And our main romance is slow paced. Very slow paced. But, based on the trailer for the next ep, the boys will finally consummate their love this Saturday. 😊
And Our Movie, Nam Goon Min’s new drama, starts airing today. Now I have to decide if I want to have my heart stomped upon on weekly basis, or if I should wait for a guaranteed heartbreak until all of it airs. 😊
Guardian Readalong: Vol. 3, Chapters 11 and 12
Jun. 13th, 2025 01:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Welcome to this week’s readalong post!
To get caught up, you can read last week’s installment, or check out part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, and part 5 (or the !readalong tag) for the rest of the posts for this round.
- Chapter 11 Summary: Zhao Yunlan throws Record of Ancient Secrets into the Wangchuan River. He is not fined for littering but considers the consequences of the book’s disappearance and decides to buy it again while in the past. He leaves the book in his old bedroom, narrowly avoiding being caught by his mother. Zhao Yunlan tracks down Shennong to question him, only to have Shen Wei show up before Zhao Yunlan can get the answers he’s looking for. Shen Wei returns the two of them to Zhao Yunlan’s home in the present where they talk, with Zhao Yunlan explaining how he figured out that Shen Wei had planted false memories in the Great Divine Tree. Zhao Yunlan both pushes and reassures Shen Wei, who agrees to tell him the truth.
- Chapter 12 Summary: A discussion is taking place at SID headquarters about what Zhao Yunlan might be up to. Daqing realizes that Zhao Yunlan was involved in danger he was trying to shield the rest of the SID staff from and sends Wang Zheng and Sangzan to Zhao Yunlan’s home to look for him, but neither he nor Shen Wei are they were then arrive. Guo Changcheng receives a call from a ghost asking for help finding her daughter. Shen Wei takes Zhao Yunlan to witness the birth of the gui along with when Kunlun first discovered them.
The corresponding chapters in the Chinese version on JJWXC/the fan translation are 89, 90, and 91.
Excerpts:
( Zhao Yunlan Inspects His Old Room )
( Shen Wei Exercises Restraint )
( Zhao Yunlan Is The Best )
( Boss Daqing Has A Moment )
( Guo Changcheng Makes A Promise; Chu Shuzhi Is Surprised )
Questions: What are your thoughts on teenage Zhao Yunlan from the clues we get in Chapter 11? How do you feel about the way Guo Changcheng’s ability to talk to the dead here compares with the drama? What stood out to you the most with Zhao Yunlan gradually learning the truth in these chapters? If you worked at the SID, would you rather have Zhao Yunlan in the office or Daqing stepping in as deputy director on days you went in? What do you think of Shen Wei’s approach to underwater breathing?
Feel free to answer as many or as few questions as you’d like. You’re also welcome to discuss anything else that resonates with you from these chapters.
If you’re interested in hosting an upcoming week, you can find available dates and sign up by visiting the new schedule.
Orb: On the Movements of the Earth and imagining radical futures
Jun. 13th, 2025 05:00 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png)
As I watched Orb's various protagonists stake their lives against a violently oppressive religious institution, my real-life government grew alarmingly hostile toward my existence and those of my ilk. Watching Orb became an acutely personal experience, demonstrating the force with which established power structures will suppress truths that threaten their authority and how hope for radical change can be found through community and collective action.
The post Orb: On the Movements of the Earth and imagining radical futures appeared first on Anime Feminist.
Fanvid: "借/Borrowing" (Justice in the Dark, Luo Weizhao/Pei Su)
Jun. 13th, 2025 11:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Clips were sourced from eps 1–27, with major spoilers for up to episode 16.
CW: flashing lights at around 1:00
Also on: AO3 / Tumblr
( Translation notes )
Pride Dragons on Parade: Rainbow Pride Flag Dragons!
Jun. 13th, 2025 10:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)


We recently unveiled our next crowdfunded merchandise project, featuring ten adorable cat-like Pride-flag-inspired dragons by the artist Florilège! Before and during the campaign, we’ll be spending a little time giving y’all a better look at the individual Pride dragons – and where better to start than with rainbow Pride flags! We’ve chosen to do dragons inspired by two of the many general LGBTQIA+-inclusive flags – the Intersex-Inclusive Progress Pride Flag, created in 2021 by Valentino Vecchietti; and the 8-Color Pride Flag created by Gilbert Baker in 1978.
These and 8 dragons inspired by the Pride flags for specific identities will be featured in our upcoming campaign. Florilège has made dragons inspired by the polyamorous pride flag; non-binary pride flag; aro-ace pride flag; genderqueer pride flag; demigender pride flag, pansexual pride flag; bisexual pride flag; and genderfluid pride flag.
Want one of these cuties as a sticker, magnet, key chain, or pair of earrings? Then make sure you don’t miss your chance to get ‘um – become a follower of our Kickstarter pre-launch page today!
Campaign launches Wednesday, June 18th and will end on Wednesday, July 2nd.
Just Married Dear Author Letter
Jun. 13th, 2025 09:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
It's been a few years since I've been able to participate in this exchange and I've missed it! I am generally quite easy to please so long as you avoid my DNWs, so I hope you enjoy writing a fic for me!
I've got a bunch of different pairings/OT3s with different preferences for each. The one thing that I most want for all of them is that the requested pairing/OT3 fall in love by the end of the story (if they aren't in love already) and a reasonably happy ending. By "reasonably" happy, I mean, the situation around them can be kind of dark, but they're together and that's what matters.
The first most important DNW is: infidelity. I am just not here for that.
I'm totally fine with people having pasts in which they loved/were with/were married to other people but by the time the characters get together, I want them both to be single. Or, in the case of an OT3 where two thirds of the characters are married to each other, they both need to be enthusiastic about inviting a third member into the relationship.
Some other DNWS:
+ PWP. Porn is fine, I just don't want the porn to be all the fic is. And porn is in no way necessary--you can write the most rated G fic ever if you like. I love all ratings equally.
+ Instalove/love at first sight (for anyone other Wangxian--infatuation at first site is okay for them--or Peter falling in love with Harriet because canon). As an ace person, it's super important to me that characters actually know each other before they fall in love.
+ Modern AUs of historical/fantasy fandoms. Canon divergence/what ifs are amazing, though, and if you want to twist the setting a little bit (giving Hodel magical powers or making Lan Wangji emperor or something), go for it. I just do not want to read about any of these historical/fantasy characters working in a coffee shop.
+ Major character deaths (unless someone comes back to life à la Wei Wuxian)
+ Character bashing
+ Unmitigated fluff (some fluff is fine! But I'd like some deeper feelings to dig into.)
+ Onscreen noncon
+ Focus on babies/children
+ Watersports/scat
+ BDSM outside the bedroom
General likes: angst, especially if it ends happily; getting together; hurt/comfort; mutual pining; in character characters; complicated relationships between women; good worldbuilding; longfic; outsider povs; location/setting as character; political intrigue; forced proximity; good people trying to do the right thing; bad people trying to do the right thing; found families; siblings; porn with feelings; character A having to rescue/defend character B; total devotion/us against the world dynamics. I also love the other characters in these canons, so bringing them into the fic in large supporting roles is great!
Now onto the requests.
( The Queen's Thief )
( Six of Crows )
( Fiddler on the Roof film )
( The Untamed )
( Shadow of the Moon )
( Spinning Silver )
( Life with Derek )
( Lord Peter Wimsey series )
Shugensha Hamako (1881-1937)
Jun. 13th, 2025 08:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
In temperament she was extremely serious and meticulous, but with a dry sense of humor, a pampered only daughter of a rich family (who at age sixteen was given 100 yen as allowance for a trip to Tokyo, an absurdly huge sum equivalent to something like two or three thousand dollars now; she bought a boxful of books and hired someone to carry it home for her). Her hobby was collecting Japanese swords. She had a weak stomach and dined for years on steak and exactly six grapes, prepared by her mother.
Among Hamako’s musical compositions were a part of the poet Kujo Takeko’s “dance poem” “Four Seasons” as well as a section of the literary figure Tsubouchi Shoyo’s play New Urashima, both of which were well received. She also composed music for the dancer Takahashi Motoko (Fujima Kansoga), a close friend sometimes referred to as a lover in Hamako’s diary. After losing her home in the 1923 Great Kanto Earthquake, she lodged with Tsubouchi’s family and taught koto under the professional name Shugensha, acquiring numerous devoted students, mostly women. She died in 1937.
Sources
Mostly Hasegawa Shigure’s mini-biography of her in Modern Beauties (they were friends and collaborators on the Urashima performance among others, and the biographical portrait is presented in part as an adorable conversation about Hamako between Shigure and one of Hamako’s koto teachers)
Review: V/H/S/Beyond
Jun. 12th, 2025 10:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
As stated previously, V/H/S has quickly become a favorite horror movie franchise. I'm also curious about some other horror franchises that I haven't seen yet and have been interested in for some time, one of them being Paranormal Activity, which oddly enough can actually fit into the V/H/S universe.
(no subject)
Jun. 12th, 2025 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
On a happier note, I saw chickadees multiple times today (apparently they're smaller than sparrows) as well as hummingbirds (one a few minutes after I refilled the feeder)!