haitangkitty

Yunjin<3


New BL:

Burnout Syndrome EP. 5


Dead man and the angel's kiss,
money and status all gone when asleep, when dead,
they could they leave the human world and hierarchies behind and enter a fantasy realm of love where work doesn't exist.
Jira bringing comfort and tenderness to Koh despite all the bickering. 
There is sexual tension, Koh could buy sex but doesn't want to.
These small moments between them possible because of art, human creation that transcends mortal boundaries


Heated Rivalry EP. 6 (final)

Beefy dudes being tender with each other... not what i usually watch but surprisingly i've enjoyed it very much. Very warm finale for a steamy series! But i gotta say coming out to your parents/getting caught always makes me anxious. 

I'm glad a western MM series got so popular! Heated Rivalry was overall a great romance. Good balance of romance, smut, and realism. It also had the trope of "slow burn with fucking" which i realized i really like but haven't read/watched that much. 


10Dance (film)


source

this has similarities with the two other BL's i wached: art and competition, my favorite subjects. 
passion, dedication, ruthlessness
challenging each other, being inspired by each other, 
being changed by the other
great critique is to be seen, to help you to succeed 
artists in love: so dramatic!

i think the acting and chemistry was great
there was a lot of amazing dance scenes i loved watching. 
it's been a long time since i've watched something that was full of PASSION!
i could've watched this for longer!
apparently it's based on a manga that hasn't even finished yet so i understand why at times it felt like there could've been more, but i'm not sure if tv series adaptation could have been as dramatic and emotional? idk. 


BONUS: 
Le sserafim did an incredible performance at Gayo Daejeon!
The intro is so cool! I've never seen anything like it. They also brought drag queens on stage!
I really love how they always show support to the queer community. 

I binged Interview with the Vampire S2 yesterday.
Oh God... i wanna scream.
It was so so so good.
Season 1 was one of my absolute top tv experiences and second season didn't disappoint.

Second season was all about memory and controlling narrative of past events and how they finally unravel in the present moment. Lot of lies and manipulation. The presence of Lestat haunts the narrative throughout the whole 70+ years he hasn't been in Louis' life. All the immense pain and sufffering and yet Louis and Lestat always come back to their most beautiful moments when they fell in love and lived together in New Orleans, when they had Claudia and they were a family together. They have a hard time accepting they are completely miserable and meaningless without each other.I would say it's a pretty painful season. I did enjoy watching the charismatic Armand and his doe-eyed manipulation as well as Theatre des Vampires. Vampires living through history and yet staying as their own isolated community is so interesting to me. At the heart of it is the feeling of absolute loneliness of a vampire and the need for a companionship. Having a special and usually a traumatic and codependent relationship with your maker is a big part of each vampire. How can predators form a community, and how can they truly love?


Season 3 comes out next year. I still have time to finish The Vampire Lestat, which I started at the beginning of the year.

Some BL i've watched and read lately:

The Summer Hikaru Died (anime)
obsessed. took me a while to finish because i got emotional watching it. premium quality series. also not necessarily a BL but horror with queer themes. reminds me of the Hirokazu Kore-eda film Monster (2023). i'm gonna start the manga next.

Goddess Bless Me From Death (Thai series)
new pavelpooh series! i didn't watch any horror for halloween so this will be only horror watch this year because i can't watch it too much. PitBabe was mostly fun so it's interesting to see the actors in a more darker and serious role. so far there's a nice balance between flirting and jumpscares :D

Karaoke Iko/Famiresu Iko (manga + anime)
new obsession... there's a discussion about this series if it's more lgbtq+ story than bl but the main pair definitely has a complex relationship and repressed feelings much like in The Summer Hikaru Died. it also has a new anime (only 5 episodes)!! i was surprised i only now heard of it but the story has a large age gap so understandable why it's not that mainstream.

Master-Peace (manhwa)
was advertised to fans of saezuru (my favorite bl manga) so ofc i had to check it out and was not dissapointed. a more quality manhwa with a plot focused on politics. it has a bdsm element too so ofc i love it.

Desire (Chinese webnovel)
i loved the series it was so much fun, the only BL series i was able to watch on release time. i want more of the story so i started reading the novel it's based on. My first omegaverse novel!


+ New Thai omegaverse "Knot The Series" pilot dropped.
+ Thai prison GL "Clairebell" started airing!
+ Japanese BL film 10Dance trailer dropped, premiere 18.12 on Netflix.
+ Tomorrow (Sat 15.11) premieres two BL's im gonna check: Tide of Love (South-Korea, Gagaoolala) and To My Shore(Chinese, Viki), i can do first impressions post later~

July is coming to an end. I haven't been able to do anything productive, the hot weather and my fatigue has really affected me.

Luckily I've found new series to obsess over:


Desire

• Second omegaverse tv-series after Pit Babe! This one is non-traditional as well as the main lead is enigma x alpha, but there is a omega(fake beta) x alpha side couple.
• This is my new favorite series, the main leads are simply gorgeous and the manipulative and beautiful enigma played by Eliot Huang is such an interesting character. 
• I'm watching this on Gagaoolala, it's also on Viki but it was getting deleted/censored on other platforms :/ 
• Currently 5 episodes up

Revenged Love

• This one is a fun drama too (Chinese BL). It's quite popular at the moment.
• You can watch this on Gagaoolala and free on Youtube.

Secret Lover

• Taiwanese childhood friends to lovers drama. I really like this one too. It goes straight to the point. The main leads have great chemistry!
• 3 episodes aired on Gagaoolala.

The Summer Hikaru Died

• Anime on Netflix based on the manga of the same name. I've heard about this for years and i've been meaning to read the manga but for some reason haven't
• The animation is gorgeous and unique
• There's only 4 episodes aired but i already got emotional over it
• Grief, homophobia, small town secrets, body horror... topics that i really enjoy and get to my feels

BONUS:

• My Melody & Kuromi: New stop-motion animation series on Netflix. The series is eye-candy and unbelievably cute. I watched this when i was feeling really bad and had trouble sleeping and it made me feel better. I also recently watched another Sanrio Neflix stop motion animation Rilakkuma&Kaoru, which is also very wholesome.
• Ayaka is in love with Hiroko S2: I'm having lot of fun with this GL drama. It's still interesting even though the main couple are already in a relationship. I also love how it has focus on the lesbian community. I could watch this for multiple seasons. You can find it on Gagaoolala.

****

+Digital minimalism/anti-brainrot diaries #6

On some depressing news there's more censorship restricting nsfw/queer content online now. It started with games on Steam, then Ich.io(there's current campaign to pressure mastercard/visa to cancel the censorship), even google docs have been restricting content(but it has been like that for a while). UK has passed censorship law and there's talk about KOSA again. Also recently danmei authors have been arrested in China...

Ever since i saw the documentary Citizenfour(2014) about Edward Snowden I've been really paranoid about being tracked online and thought even back then what happens if/when governments suddenly turn towards fascism and they have access to all this data about us. We seem to be in that phase now, at least in some parts of the world. I'm not the best with computers but i've managed to use adblockers, vpn,complex passwords, telegram instead of whatsupp, duckduckgo/startpage instead of google, other emails than gmail. I don't use Meta apps or Twitter anymore. Unfortunately i've used lot of Tiktok these past years but tried to delete it and use it less this year.

On Bluesky there's a lot of talk about decentralized web and learning to make your own websites. Apparently there's lot of the same sentiment of people missing the old web.When i was younger i learned some html to edit my Tumblr but i don't remember those skills anymore. I know nothing about coding. I do want to check out Neocities. I've also really missed Blogspot, it's how i really learned and got into different j-subcultures and artists online when i was young. 

I recently for the first time got Substack but i was a little dissapointed, i've read more intelligent takes on Tumblr. There also seems to be this performativity of being an intellectual there but i've rarely come across good writing or any new insights. Lot of people seem to be saying the same things. Both on Substack and on Youtube there seems to be lot of others who are also tired of the current state of online life. This is what i've talked about this whole year in this series, how to un-rot your brain and get back into your hobbies and out of the algorithm, the mainstream, the zeitgeist. 

One article I really enjoyed(not on Substack) was "Bringing Sexy Back" i found recommended on Bluesky. It touched upon pathologizing the human experience, especially sexuality, in the age of surveillance. 

Where to give my attention and money is what i've thought about this whole year, i'm more selective than before.

I had somehow completely missed this news that came out 3 months ago:
My first "BL" I was obsessed with  No.6 is getting a sequel!
What a coincidence because I recently started rewatching the anime. I actually read the fan translation of the novel back in the day and I've been wishing for Seven Seas to officially publish it.

The sequel  takes place 2 years after the main story. Apparently the first volume was published just few days ago! There's already a fan translation up!

(repost from my tumblr)


I'd like to analyze something that Jinx hasn't had (much) in the story yet: Jaekyung's POV.

• The story is told from Dan's perspective, so naturally the reader has more sympathy towards Dan. Clearly Dan is the one who suffers in the story. Jaekyung's impulsive nature, anger, and high sex drive are something that are still a bit mystery.
• Many readers are waiting for the explanation for his toxic behavior. Many readers are looking for him to "turn to a green flag". Readers love "tame the beast" type of story in romance. Mingwa has said this to be a classic story, so it will be possible it takes this route. But so far there is not character development with 50+ chapters in the story.
• In Mingwa's earlier work BJ Alex the toxic top Jiwon also goes through flasbacks that explain his shitty behavior and through separation arch he realizes his feelings. At the end of the story he is a changed man. Some readers speculate that Jinx will take the same route because there are some similarities with the stories. However I'm doubtful of that.
• Will there be a tragic backstory? In the last chapters it was revealed that his opponent Junmin has met him before and said to hi

This put Jaekyung's under a lot of stress. I believe this exhange clearly shows that Jaekyung's has had a troubled childhood. To me it's clear that his avoidance of emotion and cold nature is a result of some kind of trauma.

• Will there be a regret arch or separation arch? I feel that now (ch. 51) we are going through some kind of introspection. Jaekyung's processing the fact that Dan might have betrayed him. In my interpretation it is miracle to Jaekyung why Dan hasn't left him before and has tried avoiding that by making him financially dependent on him. Their very first encounter starts as a transaction. Jaekyung's past lovers have been paid to have sex with him (as far as we know). He clearly has issues with intimacy. I feel that it is a miracle to Jaekyung that Dan has stayed with him. Jaekyung has broken his boundaries and played with him however he wants and Dan has submitted to him. I think one part of Jaekyung expects Dan to betray him at one point. Him ignoring Dan's feelings and doing what he wants separates himself from human connection. It might be one type of self harm to treat people shitty and be seemingly okay that they don't like you.
• I believe Jaekyung's backstory will be tied to how he feels like he has to be the dominant one, the winner, the Emperor. I wish the backstory would give Jaekyung some character depth because usually very dominant and independent people have gone through something abusive and they have been forced to be in a submissive role. I talked previously how this work has BDSM undertones and how Jae's dominance plays a big part of his character. I would say he already has character depth because we have already seen him under a lot of stress and him contemplating why he is so obsessed with Dan.
• Jaekyung is hard to read, he has a poker face. He simply does not show much emotion except for anger and lust. He is an emotionally detached man. This is what I find interesting about Jinx and Jae's character. How does such a cold character show love? Or even realize he's in love? I don't think we're ever going to see him as a super loving character because he has repressed so much of himself. He shows his emotions thorugh action. And with Dan the action so far in the story is possessiveness.
• So many of the so called Jinx fans just straight up hate Jaekyung. I'm pretty sure everyone's minds will turn once we get his backstory. Jinx is a slowburn and people just don't seem to be patient enough for it and show their frustration in the fandom. I'm dissapointed in this because I really like Jaekyung's character. I also enjoy that his character is a bit of a mystery. He portrays himself as the dominant one, but that is only the part of himself he shows to other people (and the reader). I feel that many readers would enjoy the story more if the could sympathize more with Jaekyung. But some people need to be reminded that this story is not for everyone and Jaekyung's not the typical perfect loving top many readers would like to have for themselves.

This is the second part of the Dark Rise trilogy. It's a queer young adult fantasy novel. It's by C.S Pacat and I absolutely loved her Captive Prince romance trilogy so I picked up this book a year ago although it's YA which I never read. I have to admit I binge read it so I don't remember every detail but I will absolutely read it again.

Few things I really loved about this book:

- The romance.The protagonist Will is guilt-ridden with dark secrets and dominant tendencies fearing he will corrupt his love interest James like he has in his last life. So he holds himself back...he has so much repressed energy waiting to burst and James is waiting for him ready to submit to him! The romance has strong bdsm vibes which is very suprising for a YA story although nothing explicit happens the tension is very strong!

- Who is good and who is bad & How past dictates us. At the heart of this story is the question surrounding fate: how the past will be relived. Both dark and light forces have come to alive in a new time in new bodies. Will everything go exactly how it went the last time? Is good or bad something that we are born, is it our fate or is it how we decide to act? Are good and bad such simple concepts really? Will does everything to be good but he is drawn to dark forces constantly and even without trying he acts according to it. He hasn't done anything bad except for being born. James as his dark companion on a lonely road also makes their romance so lovely and angsty in a way that makes the middle schooler in me squirm.


I absolutely love C.S Pacat's writing! It inspires me to become a better writer.

4/5 stars

by Greensea, Zoy,
65 chapters
Lezhin

This was recommended on tumblr and apparently it has the same writer as Pearl Boy!
I had read a lot of manwhas with dark topics so I picked this up in hopes to read something lighthearted and wholesome.
But I was suprised because this story has twists and turns I had not expected from it. I was stressed!

It's set in the 80's and the couple is nerd x high school dropout artist. The manwha deals with homophobia and a secret relationship the couple meets at a secret gay hang out spot (Anemone theater). The main character Sungho has an abusive father who is the reason why the Sungho is so stressed about school and sees it as the most important part of his life. How can a nerd fall in love? Especially with a man! Gay culture is still underground and marginalized in contrast to the prestige of medical school and the good life the Sungho's father wants him to have.

It's a sex first feelings later type of romance. There is also a "i have to have sex to cure my illness" -triope which I love. The love interest, Duk-Gwang, could be cathegorized as a cool seme. He challenges Sungho in his perfectionism and social reclusion to let go and have some fun in life. They are both very independent and stubborn characters.The romance gets better during the story until the very end.

(spoilers below)

The twists in this story deal with the second season which suddenly out of nowhere introduce a love rival and the romance turns into a love triangle. I really hated that part of the plot but it kept me interested in the story I have to admit. TW: In third season the stress was not over. Unfortunately this manwha has a rape scene(although it was left open if it happened really or was it just a dream, either way there is a graphic scene). The main enemy and cause of drama on this story is the strict homophobic father. The last part of the story is an eight year time skip. First I hated the idea but I acually liked how it turned out. Sungho battled to his adulthood with expectations from his father. To be queer is to defy norms. The main character is a comformist and this poses the main dilemma in the story. Luckily, this story had a happy ending but it kept me on the edge until the end. Some of the plot points could have been executed better but regardless I liked the main couple and the overall vibes of the story.


4/5 stars

(this is a repost from my tumblr)

Since I finished this story, I was left a bit sad (and maybe unsatisfied )by the violent and bittersweet ending. The tone shift from the beginning is huge, as the author says S1 is more comical and the story gets darker as it progresses. But the comical and loving moments between Jooha and Dooshik are at the heart of Pearl Boy; to love despite the darkness.

(Spoilers below/Talk about the ending)

The final season takes place in Seoul, far from the coastal city from the beginning of the story, which Dooshik has escaped because of his troubles in Seoul. In the end of the story, the roles are reversed; they have returned to Seoul because Jooha's home is unsafe. They are further away from the sea, where their first meeting takes place. The sea is an interesting part of the story as it is part of Jooha's nonhuman features as is his family's seafood restaurant. Nature plays an interesting part in this story symbolizing home,love, income and Jooha's condition, although used mainly as a sexy vechicle in the story, Jooha's pearls symbolize his abnormal beauty and what value humans see in it. As human tend to do with nature, they want to conquer it and profit off it as it is in Jooha's case. Dooshik becomes his savior as he sees Jooha's feature a beautiful and valuable on its own.

In dark romance there is usually two types of stories: I want to lock you up (sadistic) or I want to lock you up (protective). In Pearl Boy, Dooshik is the latter one protecting Jooha from the first one: Pilwon. The main romance is between the abuser and his savior, not the perpetrator of abuse. This is also why many readers love this story despite it being dark, the main couple is not "toxic" as in typical dark romances. This does not mean that Dooshik is an innocent character. I personally hate reducing stories into "red flags" and "green flags" as some (maybe very young) people on fandom tend to do. Dooshik as a savior character bears much responsibility in the story: can his love "cure" the abuse Jooha has suffered? Can he revenge his abusers? How can he become a more impactful figure than Pilwon in Jooha's life? These are some issues Dooshik deals with in the story and specifically deals with in the end of the story as it gets more violent and Jooha gets abused again (making Dooshik feel like he has failed protecting him). In one scene, Dooshik's protective behavior takes a darker turn and parallels Pilwon's attitude in Jooha's eyes. I think that scene shows how protectivness can turn to abuse: wanting to own your lover despite what he thinks. But in this case, it was only a emotional moment and not a turn of character for Dooshik. His frustration of being unable to protect Jooha turns into violence towards his perpetrators; in this case the twins.

But why it isn't Pilwon who get killed by them? In the end, I think instead of torturing him the story gives a more satisfying answer. Pilwon gives them two options but Jooha choose a third option: his own in which he dies together with Dooshik. That way he creates his own reality and does not bend to Pilwon's will as he has throughout the abuse.

The story is not psychological in its nature, but it deals with trauma and abuse. We get flashbacks throught the story and the whole story is about how Jooha wants to avoid those things happening to him again. I think this is why the amnesia ending is an interesting decision, as it plays into how trauma works like a circle. They get temporarily a new clean beginning where the traumatic past does not exist. Victims of trauma are often unable to remember their trauma and sometimes they do only remember parts of it or certain triggers cause them to remember. In in the ending of Pearl Boy, returning to water works as a trigger for Jooha to remember. I would love a more psychological sidestory(or just a fic) of Dooshik and Jooha just living their ordinary lives and dealing with trauma because that is another battle to conquer.

How do you end a story that deals with with sex trafficing? Will the abused get revenge? Will they get a happy ending? Thinking about other similar dark stories usually get dark endings because there is no way out of the scene of organized crime. There is no happy ending, only happy moments, some light in the darkness. In some parts of the story, death might seem a happier end than living. Is it realistic? Yes. Will it make the reader happy? No. But stories don't have to be realistic nor make readers happy. I think Pearl Boy's ending is both happy and sad. You can't take away the trauma but what is most important is that love is stronger.